After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
