I wish I could punch you in the face.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
