Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
