My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
