sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Fuck appropriateness.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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