I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
