that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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