I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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