You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
