I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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