if you like me you must not know who I am
someone threw a dead crab at me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
