operation harelip BJ is a go
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
