OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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