If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
