mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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