all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
