you turned your livingroom into a bong?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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