We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
