just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
