Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
