Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
