so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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