dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
