What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
