I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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