I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
