She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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