My underwear smells like fireworks.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
