I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
