scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
