Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's blow job season.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
