ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
