I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
