Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
