I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
