he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
