Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
