even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
