I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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