yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
