Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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