in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The adults are the big ones right?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
