all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
