she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
