You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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