I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
