turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
