$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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