and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
