so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
