I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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