Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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